Monday, September 25, 2006

Cambodian Prostitute Blues

From this week's "Dear Prudence" at Slate:

"Dear Prudie,
My longtime boyfriend came back from a business trip in Asia, and afterward was inexplicably out of sorts. Finally, he confessed that he had cheated on me with a prostitute one night when he'd gone to a nightclub with two male co-workers. Prudie, I know my boyfriend, and I would never have imagined he would be the type of guy who would do such a thing. We have a very close, loving, and honest relationship, and I know he has never done anything like this before. What makes things more confusing is that while he was away, my mom spilled the beans that right before he left, he visited her to ask permission to propose to me. He had even purchased a ring. My mom said they were both so happy they cried. I wasn't surprised to hear about my boyfriend's impending proposal, because we had been talking about marriage for a while now that we have finished our graduate schooling and gotten jobs. How could he do such a thing to me, especially when we were on the verge of starting a bright new life together? My boyfriend is extremely remorseful, telling me that he is shocked as well at his own behavior and has never felt so low in his life. While a younger version of myself could have said, "See ya," without flinching, I realize now that it's not so easy. I still love him with all my heart and believe he is a good man. Should I stay and work things out, or leave these damaged goods behind?
—Torn

Dear Torn,
Did he use a condom? Even if he did, he should get screened for sexually transmitted diseases. Assuming he didn't bring any new microbes into your relationship, he did introduce doubt. However, his brief encounter with a poor, nameless woman should not be a threat to your future. He slipped, and felt sick enough about it to confess to you what he certainly could have gotten away with. His shame is so thoroughgoing that it sounds like he will be the most faithful and devoted of husbands. To atone, he should make a contribution to an organization that fights international sexual exploitation—International Justice Mission is one. Then you and he should get on with that bright, new life together.
—Prudie"

Well that was sweet, but I'm more concerned about another issue: is "Prudie" actually Tina Cervasio's mom???

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