Times Herald-Record Pt. II: Say it, don't spray it
You may think that upstate NY is a sleepy place, but I think my recent excerpts from the Times Herald-Record prove otherwise! Here's another tale that is sure to amuse.
"Chester — Will you be paying with cash, credit or urine?
Not a question probably ever asked in a ShopRite checkout line, but perhaps this was what one man thought he was being asked last week.
This much is known: A man in the checkout line on the afternoon of Sept. 8 urinated on a cash register. From there, the details scatter in different directions."
What we have here is RASHOMON of the checkout line whiz!
"One person said she heard the man jumped onto the conveyor belt and did his business. The man, reportedly a resident of the Camp La Guardia homeless shelter, was arrested after the incident, said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.
But Chester village police have no record of such an arrest. Their version goes like this: shortly after 3 p.m. Sept. 8, a call came in for a possible indecent exposure.
When police arrived at ShopRite, all they found was the urine, said Sgt. Pete Graziano. Another call came in about the culprit behind the post office, but when police picked up two Camp La Guardia residents and brought them back to the grocery store, no one could identify either of them as the urinator.
The two men, though, were charged with an unrelated public consumption of alcohol for drinking Budweiser in the street, according to police.
The man with the possibly weak bladder is still at large. Although ShopRite and community members say he was from Camp La Guardia, police have no evidence to prove it one way or the other.
As for the cash register, it was cleaned and disinfected immediately following the "unfortunate issue," Meleta said.
It was not clear why Meleta believed the man was from Camp La Guardia, but she pointed to the incident as part of a greater problem with the 1,000-bed New York City men's shelter that straddles Chester and Blooming Grove.
"I think we need to focus on the real issue," she said. "We are caught in an unfortunate circumstance, but is it about us, really?""
The real issue is, where is Chester's greatest supervillain, The Whizzenator, hiding?!? He must be caught at once and brought to justice!!
"Chester — Will you be paying with cash, credit or urine?
Not a question probably ever asked in a ShopRite checkout line, but perhaps this was what one man thought he was being asked last week.
This much is known: A man in the checkout line on the afternoon of Sept. 8 urinated on a cash register. From there, the details scatter in different directions."
What we have here is RASHOMON of the checkout line whiz!
"One person said she heard the man jumped onto the conveyor belt and did his business. The man, reportedly a resident of the Camp La Guardia homeless shelter, was arrested after the incident, said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.
But Chester village police have no record of such an arrest. Their version goes like this: shortly after 3 p.m. Sept. 8, a call came in for a possible indecent exposure.
When police arrived at ShopRite, all they found was the urine, said Sgt. Pete Graziano. Another call came in about the culprit behind the post office, but when police picked up two Camp La Guardia residents and brought them back to the grocery store, no one could identify either of them as the urinator.
The two men, though, were charged with an unrelated public consumption of alcohol for drinking Budweiser in the street, according to police.
The man with the possibly weak bladder is still at large. Although ShopRite and community members say he was from Camp La Guardia, police have no evidence to prove it one way or the other.
As for the cash register, it was cleaned and disinfected immediately following the "unfortunate issue," Meleta said.
It was not clear why Meleta believed the man was from Camp La Guardia, but she pointed to the incident as part of a greater problem with the 1,000-bed New York City men's shelter that straddles Chester and Blooming Grove.
"I think we need to focus on the real issue," she said. "We are caught in an unfortunate circumstance, but is it about us, really?""
The real issue is, where is Chester's greatest supervillain, The Whizzenator, hiding?!? He must be caught at once and brought to justice!!
posted by Tommy Lasorda at 2:22 PM
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