"When a phrase cannot be found on Google, I call it a Googlenope. Once a Googlenope is discovered and written about, it is no longer a Googlenope.
Every single exact phrase that follows could not be found on the Web before today:
Queen Elizabeth's buttocks.
Caviar 'n' taters.
. . . much to Paris Hilton's embarrassment . . .
I was helped by the federal government.
I (heart) my zygote.
. . . that nappy-headed ho, Barbara Bush.
Next, boil the toast . . .
If you take off your bra, I'm calling the cops.
Jesus loves you for your money.
Rove should just shut up and look pretty.
I believe dust mites have souls.
This lobster must have been Roman Catholic.
Plush Osama doll.
I'm fixin' to solve me the Shimura-Taniyama conjecture.
The best pork chops in Jerusalem.
Rajneesh Roosevelt III.
Billy Bob Nussbaum.
Please accept these underpants as collateral . . .
I owe my life to unprotected sex.
I'm going to be concentrating on my home-wrecking now.
Bad, bad Leroy Moskowitz.
Thor adjusted his mascara.
Richard Cheney in '08.
Nelson Mandela is a doo-doo head.
My grandchildren are so ugly.
The Iraqi Regis Philbin.
Hey, this tastes like aardvark.
Laura Bush's secret tattoo.
I'll take Deaths by Autoerotic Asphyxia for $400, Alex.
Hot cheese sundae.
Cancer, heart disease and zits.
"I'm Stephen Hawking and I'm a Capricorn."
Pizza with Condoleezza.
Dogs playing poker and mah-jongg.
The dainty Hillary Clinton.
Acid klezmer band.
Wearing only a codpiece and a sombrero.
Cancer of the bellybutton.
The yodeling librarian.
George W. Bush's subtlety.
Sonnets by Elmer.
Lou Dobbs's hash pipe.
The sensual feel of the speculum.
Sören "Porky" Kierkegaard.
The billionaire manicurist."