Monday, February 26, 2007

Supportive audiences encourage suckiness

Why are Oscar speeches so freakin' boring, considering the fact that the people who deliver them are in the ENTERTAINMENT business? Shankar Vedantam has the answers.

"Let's say someone stuck a microphone in your face and gave you 45 seconds to say something meaningful to a billion people. Let's say, moreover, that this is the only chance you will ever have to directly address the entire world.

What would you say?

As countless nights at the Oscars have shown, the combination of time pressure and high stakes leaves most people blathering. Oh sure, you can think of wise and witty things to say right now, but that is because we are playing make-believe. When people actually walk on stage to accept an Academy Award, even show-business professionals seem to develop a form of stage fright.

They turn earnest and gooey, and fall back on formulaic lists of thank yous. The Oscar for Most Egregious Offender in this category may go to Jon Landau, co-producer of "Titanic." When he went on stage to accept his award for Best Picture, his thank-you list went on so long that you began to envy the people on the ship that went down.

Here's what Landau said when offered the undivided attention of the planet: He thanked his family and then (let's just do first names) Rae, Josh, Mali, Gig, Simon, Jimmy, John, Lloyd, Charles, Martin, Roger, Charlie, Steve, Kevin, Lance, Roger, Tommy, Les, Tony, Doug, Harry, Randy, Grant, Sharon, Anna, Peter, Bill, Tom -- hold on, we're barely halfway through -- Jim, Tom, Sanford, Vicki, Ted, Mike, Jim, Hilary, Jon, Sherry, Rob, John, Arthur, Wayne, Nancy, Blaise, Greg, John, Allison, Maren and Steve.

He also thanked all the nominees and the people they had already thanked.

What explains the fact that on Oscars night, so many show-business professionals seem to forget the first rule of show business, which is to be interesting?

One series of psychological experiments offers insight into why the stars regularly underperform at the Academy Awards -- and what can be done about it. Contrary to the widely held belief that a supportive audience improves the performance of people under pressure, these experiments show exactly the opposite is true. All those fans, friends and family in the auditorium may make the stars feel good about what they are doing on stage, but it is probably making the show more boring for the rest of us.

Social psychologists Jennifer Butler and Ray Baumeister brought volunteers into a laboratory and asked them to count backward from 1,470 in decrements of 13 -- a rather difficult task. The volunteers were asked to bring a friend along. The volunteers were seated in a room before a one-way mirror. Some were told their friend was on the other side, and others were told a stranger was there.

The psychologists found that when people believed they had a supportive friend on the other side of the mirror, they were considerably slower in counting backward compared with when they believed a stranger was watching.

The psychologists next had volunteers play a video game before a stranger and were told that both they and their audience would get some money if they did well. The volunteers, in other words, had an audience invested in their success. Other volunteers were told they would get money if they did well but that their audience would neither gain nor lose.

The volunteers did worse when they believed the audience was invested in their success, compared with when the audience was not interested.

In the final twist of the experiment, the researchers told the volunteers they had an audience rooting for them to fail. The volunteers could make some money if they did well at the game, but if they did poorly the audience would get the money. Other volunteers were provided with a supportive audience. When the game was challenging, volunteers with a hostile audience did better than volunteers with a supportive one.

Paradoxically, people invariably felt they did better than they had when they had a supportive audience -- even though they did worse -- and felt they had done worse when the audience was hostile -- even though they had done better. The support of a friendly audience made people feel good about themselves, and that feeling tricked them into believing they had actually performed well.

Academy Award winners are human, too. They try to pack the audience with friends and family because they trust their intuitions, which tell them they are doing great when they see those cheering, tear-stained faces.

So here's a suggestion for the Oscars next year. Tell friends and families of the stars to watch the show on TV. Sit that high school gym teacher who used to make life hell for the Best Actor in the front row. Bring in all the ex-husbands and ex-wives, too.

The stars will probably not enjoy the show very much. But it will be far more entertaining for the rest of us.
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

KFed makes Britney act a fool

I just cannot get enough of the exciting tales of Kevin Federline. Just when you think he's finally about to disappear, he counterpunches you in the face. Sure, Britney Spears kicks him to the curb, he's jobless and talentless, and yet he still seems to own her. It turns out her recent bizarre episode - shaving her own head in a Tarzana hair salon - was the direct result of K-Fed's latest diabolical scheme!

""Extra" has confirmed that pop princess Britney Spears checked into rehab late Tuesday morning at the urging of her concerned family and friends.

Britney is seeking help at Malibu’s exclusive treatment facility, Promises, where she is pictured at above.

"Extra" has confirmed that pop princess Britney Spears checked into rehab late Tuesday morning at the urging of her concerned family and friends.

Britney is seeking help at Malibu’s exclusive treatment facility, Promises, where she is pictured at above.

“Extra” recently got an exclusive tour of Promises, where patients share a room during their average 45-day stay.

Promises founder Richard Rogg told us that patients are at a very low point when they seek help.

“You have to hit a mental, spiritual, emotional kind of bottom,” Rogg said. “It’s that place where you are too afraid to go on living and too afraid to die.”

This breaking news comes just days after Britney shaved her head, and on Monday, “Extra” discovered new clues that may explain why Brit gave herself a buzz cut.

According to a stunning new report in OK magazine, Kevin Federline was at the pop star’s Malibu mansion on Friday when she arrived home from rehab, and a blowout between the exes broke out.

“They had a huge argument,” revealed OK’s Rob Shuter. “Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she’s been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved.”


Britney ain't 'fraid of no drug test.


We have also learned where Britney fled to Friday night after daring to go bald; she reportedly showed up at L.A.’s chic Mondrian Hotel in an electric blue wig.

Sources revealed that Brit was seen shaving her legs at the pool and crying after she was refused a room.

“She didn't have any credit cards, she didn't have any cash… I don’t even believe she had any I.D.,” dished US Weekly’s Katrina Szish.

Szish added that Brit’s bizarre behavior was noted by the staffers who dished, “she was depressed and confused.”

“The general consensus is we’re seeing Britney have a breakdown before our very eyes,” Szish told us.

After Britney’s sudden downward spiral, her friend JC Chasez expressed his concern from across the Atlantic.

“I feel bad for her,” JC said to MTV U.K. “I’ve known her since she was 12 years old; she’s one of the sweetest people you've ever met."

Chavez also pointed out, “A divorce at age 25 is never going to be easy; the one person she trusted more than anybody in the world is not with her anymore.”
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Friday, February 02, 2007

the Curse of D St.

I am all about Mary Ann Akers' new DC-gossip blog, The Sleuth.

Today she reports on a cursed block of real estate that brings down all the legislators that inhabit it...and one Florida Republican brave enough to try it out...

"He's just a freshman, after all, so he might not know how to spot the capital's omens just yet.

Rep. Vern Buchanan (R-Fla.) bought a house on the most cursed block in all of Washington, paying an undisclosed sum for the home of former Rep. Clay Shaw (R-Fla.), which is located near in the 100 block of D St. in southeast D.C.

Didn't he know that Shaw and three other Republican members of Congress who lived on that block lost their reelection bids in November? And that yet another member of the "D Street Block Party" gang, Mark Foley, had to resign for that little IM habit he had with teenage male pages?

Also, let's not forget that former neighbor Porter Goss, who until recently lived at 123 D St., S.E., didn't fare so well either at his post at the CIA.

Buchanan, a wealthy car dealer, clings gingerly to his new seat in Congress. He faces a court challenge to his November election victory -- he won Florida's 13th District by 369 votes -- and possibly an investigation by House Democrats into charges of voting irregularities.

So maybe he shouldn't have tempted fate by moving to D St., where, once upon a time not so long ago, ex-Reps. Shaw, Foley, Nancy Johnson (R-Conn.), Chris Chocola (R-Ind.) and Jim Ryun (R-Kansas) enjoyed good times together. They held the famed "D Street Block Party" fundraiser together two years in a row; Shaw served bourbon, Johnson poured martinis, Foley offered wine and Chocola mixed up margaritas. Ryun finished off the guests with coffee and desert.


Vern ain't 'fraid of no curse.

Their fun came crashing to an end, of course, with the tawdry demise of Foley, and the rest soon following when Democratic wave crashed down on Election Day. "For Sale" signs quickly followed.

Such an infamous plot of real estate might not have curb appeal for some home buyers. But Buchanan is just not that superstitious, according to his spokeswoman, Sally Tibbetts.

"Congressman Shaw served with honor for more than 25 years, which bodes well for Congressman Buchanan's future," she said.
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