How to spend 60 billion yen!

Although the Red Sox have not yet signed Japanese superstar Daisuke Matsuzaka, enabling his old team (the Seibu Lions) to cash in on the $51 million dollar posting fee, it seems that Seibu has already begun to spend its loot. The guys over at Yard Work intercepted this top-secret communique!

"FROM THE DESK OF: Hidekazu Ota

Yoshiaki-san!

I am honored to report that the American Red Sox have offered most fortunately to provide baseball club Seibu in the amount of $51,111,111.11 American dollars representing the privilege of discussions to be held alongside Daisuke-san. And yes, the number encouraged laughter from me as well. A curiosity!

As the volunteered total presented by the American Red Sox converts to yen in the amount of 5,959,300,062.26, I approach humbly your wisdom by including list (look downward!) for the purpose of disbursing the lucky sum.

179,350,000
Deluxe toilet installation throughout Invoice Seibu Dome accompanying speaking flush activation, LED panel display, automated wiping arm.

93,877,400
Promotion Uni Sea Urchin Day in Invoice Seibu Dome — all which can be consumed by a single person. (”Kimigayo” singing resides within performance by Takeru Kobayashi beginning daily contest. Suggestion!)

83,456,300
Acquisition of zoological lion for display outside Invoice Seibu Dome.

31,750,000
Yu-gi-oh! Silent Swordsman Level 7 which for Ota Jr. has distressingly craved for diverse months.

1,047,250,000
Promotional film features American Nicolas Cage ensconced within baseball club Seibu licensed garments, calling on its ancestors for encouragement towards Seibu victory championship.

943,255,000
Construction for comprehensive moat/parapet system surrounds Invoice Seibu Dome for protect from Gojira-type monster (zoological lion may also feature in protect from Gojira-type monster).

799,988,388
Recombination of Pizzicato Five Musical Assemblage by way of demonstration of cultural superiority pertaining to baseball club Yomiuri Giants.

1,658,346,600
Newly created nationally broadcast contest program for which participants by invitation to Invoice Seibu Dome have been required to undergo broad scopes of extremities (dropping own children from roof of Invoice Seibu Dome, inserting of numerous baseballs into the anus as examples which are appealing) for the purpose of acquisition of admittance to future games by baseball club Seibu.

380,000,000
Dangled for the purpose of attracting discontented American Superstar Gregg Zaun.

470,125,000
Development for comprehensive negative-channel K-class proton field system surrounds Invoice Seibu Dome for protect from electric-type monster/Yomiuri Giants (zoological lion may also feature in protect from electric-type monster/Yomiuri Giants).

138,930,000
Cyborg upgrade within zoological lion.

81,860,263.15
Styled african hairpieces and applied pigmentary skin unguent for to distribute to spectators of Invoice Seibu Dome on originated “Simulating Cool Appearance By Hip-Hop American Rap Singing Star” event promotion. (Still awaiting definitive clarification of Cool American Item “Bling.” Most helpful should Yoshiaki-san encounter occasion to speak next to Rupert Murdoch for asking. Suggestion!)

51,111,111.11
Gratuity amount provided to American Red Sox, for jesting.

Please to contact me in association with your good wishes for disposition of cash money. Welcoming and honoring any such suggestion pertaining to requests as written down on top of this. Thank you.

Seibu Lion say: Roar!

Humbly,
Hidekazu Ota
President, Baseball Club Seibu Lions"