I can't believe I got sucked into this

From a bizarre bombshell, the paternity mystery about Anna Nicole's baby has morphed into a full fledged controversy. Although I feel stupider even beginning to discuss this, I would be remiss to neglect the latest developments in a story that broke across this page yesterday. It seems there is a paparazzo with a claim on the newborn spawn of the annoying naked lady.

For some odd reason, the best coverage I've seen of this situation is from the Detroit Free Press, a paper better known for publishing Mitch Albom's sappy sludge of a sports column than for the latest tabloid shocker. Go figure.

"Was it really on Larry King or did the wires get crossed and it was really one of those tawdry Maury Povich who's-your-daddy paternity segments?

Alas, it was on King's CNN nightly interview fest that attorney Howard K. Stern (no relation to the shock talk radio host) proclaimed to King and the world that he is the father of ex-Playboy model, almost-heiress and weight-reduction huckster Anna Nicole Smith's new baby daughter, born just before her son Daniel died under still unclear circumstances in the Bahamas.

Stern first revealed the name of the child is Danilynne Hope.

Then King posed an e-mail query from "Karyn in Sheboygan, Wis. 'Why has Anna Nicole been so secretive about who the father of her new daughter is?' "

Stern then proclaimed: "Anna and I have been in a relationship, and we love each other, and it's been going on for a very long time. And because of my relationship as her lawyer, we felt that it was best to keep everything hidden. And we've actually done a pretty good job of that."

Then came the following exchange:

King: "So you are the father?"

Stern: "Yes, sir."

King: "By the way, have there been any DNA tests taken, is that...? "

Stern: "Proud father."

King: "What?"

Stern: "I said proud father."

King: "Were DNA tests taken?"

Stern: "Well, based on -- based on the timing of when the baby was born, there really is no doubt in either of our minds."

Enter celebrity photographer Larry Birkhead. On Wednesday, he told TMZ.com he rejects Stern's assertion and claims fatherhood for himself.

Birkhead was either so disgusted or so unconcerned by Stern's appearance on King's show that, according to TMZ, he left to spend the evening at Janet Jackson's record release party in New York...Birkhead says, "I have asked for a DNA test and I welcome it. I know I am the father of the child. I look forward to having a relationship with my new daughter."

What the hell is going on here?!?!